瑞玢的左眼

holy shit.....
Hunter Singleton added me on both facebook and MSN. And we actually started talking..
That's so funny..
I never thought he'd warmed up to me..
He even asked me to go hang out with him..
But it was like 2 in the morning, kinda way too late..
So I just lied to him that I had to go to Arlington for a week..
We talked about a bunch of random stuff, then both passed out in the middle of the conversation.. It was fun.

for some reason, i knew he'd be at school today even if he didn't have to give any exam. also i knew Sean will be taking his last exam as well. i was going to go up there at 10am, but i ended up chatting with Luny for a while. so when i got there, both of them were in already....Orz
just as i planned, he was sitting outside Baily's office... only if i could've gotten there a bit earlier.. Baily would've gotten a chance to see me with him...fuck..lol..
i wore the TH white shirt today. looking all boyish and formal.. and so did he..! he was just sitting there, wearing a white shirt and jean..just like me..i went up to him all smiling and shit..he smiled back.
we sat outside Baily's office till his exam started. this time....i fucking got his number...LOL!
we still hung out together after the exam because i was talking to calvin on the phone outside the SS building, well, not entirely outside, still inside the glass door. while i was talking, i think Baily just got out from the restroom and back into his office. cuz i heard a noise from the door, and a guy with glasses , maybe was about to walk out there, walked back in the other direction. i looked, he went into Baily's office. It didn't really look like him, only the glasses. but since he walked into that office, it had to be him, then... maybe because he was wearing some random dark green (i think) shirt, not his ordinary formal shirt and tie and light brown jacket, i couldn't really tell if that was him or not....
Sean came up to me while i was still on the phone..so i hung up on calvin..we went to the library till about 12, he left with that lady who worked in the front desk....
he gave me 2 hugs today. one was before the exam, the other one was before he left the library. both were real tight and loving.. i think i'm beginning to feel again...... hope it's a good thing..
the second time i actually hugged him back by just putting my arm on his waist.. he was so tiny.. so slimming.. the hug he gave me on monday was different.. the 2 hugs he gave me today were better.. maybe we ARE getting closer... i should probably text him....LOL
i missed Baily today. He totally left around 12, i think. i can't seem to remember if he left before me and Sean left or not...goddamn it........

funny. i didn't get to walk with him to class today because of my stupid miscalculation. i was gonna walk with him to his class at 10:30, but i thought i could walk with him back to his office instead. So i waited and waited and waited.... he ended up walking with some dude back to his office. it was that cute guy always sitting outside of my PSCI class. the cute guy that actually sit in in one of my PSCI class, i remember it was the day i said "well, i have my attorney"
i was so pissed. so i just walked straight back home in front of them. later on around 1:31 or so. i walked back to the campus to check out some books to read over the break. amazingly, when i passed the SS building the stairs outside, he was just on his way out..! it was fucking amazing.. what a fucking coincidence! He smiled when i looked up to him in my new banana republic hat while sucking on my sonic root beer float. the sun was behind him. his golden hair looks almost white, the smile looked darken, but bigger, and somehow sweeter. it was probably the biggest smile i've ever seen from him. i smiled back, didn't know what to say. so i was like "stalking you"
he laughed.

Today's the exam. Political Science exam. Today's the last day I will be sitting in the same classroom with him. There was no disgussion nor talking besides he called out our names when he was passing back our papers. After the exam, I just left without saying a word.
I went back home. Dropped my coat because it was getting hot. Then come back to campus again. I saw Aubrey walking towards the Art Building. So I called her to tell her to come back. We hung out all day today. We went downtown to the pet store. Saw 3 kittens. They were so damn cute, i almost bought them..lol..
When we got back to campus. Because when we were walking back to my place to get my car, we saw Sean outside the Hall of Languages. So when we got back, I called that we could hang in the Hall of Languages. Only by the time we got there, he wasn't in there anymore. We stayed for a while, stole some books, then decided to head back to the SS and Art Building. When I thought I wasn't going to see him again, as me and Aubs hung out in the parking lot, he showed up.......
Same old smile, same old friendly face. I was taking photos just randomly, but mainly his car. Then he just showed up unexpectedly. I smiled. Didn't know what to say. I kept thinking it would be the last time i see him, so the only words I could think of to say to him was "Merry Christmas"
He smiled. I felt the pause, he was trying to think of something to say as well, but maybe it was just my imagination. "You, too." he said to me.
Then me and Aubs left. We sat at the garden for a while, then Chris called. We went to sonic, then back to the library. I sat with Mariana on the fifth floor. We gossipped around for a while. But I was so boring, I had to call Calvin. While I was talking to Calvin, Rosas called. I tricked her to come to the library by faking sad and all..lol.. It was hilarious.
Three of us hung out together for the first time this semester. We were so gossip..lol..
But Mariana had a test at 6, so around 4:30, me and Rosas left. As we went into the Computer Lab to let her check her myspace, we both got an email says that our IS class was cancelled. So we went to the Science Building to find Miller to ask what had happened. There was a cute guy sitting with him just right by the door. Never thought finding him could be that easy..lol..
He told us that he remembered us from High School, I totally freaked...... I never thought he remembered it until the semester was fucking over..Orz The cute guy sitting next to him was laughing so hard when he saw me in shock and dropped the T-shirt that Aubrey had had given me earlier today.
Anyways, we changed our schedule to ASTR class. Then I finally went back home to sleep. I was so tired.

today's my last art class in this university (i hope)
Huber was on my ass about speaking up during the critique. Guess he understood that it was my last day, I should at least say something about my work. Glad that he had warmed up to me in the end, i could tell. He used to hate me when i was taking his Drawing I class..lol..
and as I set myself apart after the exam, I finally got the courage to talk to Baily..! I decided to get a free T-shirt from registration office, so I waited till him left the SS to BA for his class. It was 30 minutes after my colour theory exam time. I went back home to change. when i got back to the Temple, I was really late. i thought i missed him already. but i waited anyway..
thank fucking god, i waited. He walked out of the SS around 10:30. he was late..lol..so i walked outta the Temple quickly. this is the second time i've done it. the first time i was ignoring him, just walk my way towards the BA to take care of my FA business. This time i finally got the courage to say something to him.
"Morning, Mr. Baily." I said.
"Morning. How're you doing?" he asked nicely.
I gave him a hollow smile, speechlessly.
He understood how I felt - finals are killing me. So he laughed. "Just hanging there, (huh)?"
As the conversation begain. We walked forward together, side by side.
I couldn't remember what I said or what HE said. But then he just popped the question, "Just keep showing up, huh?" or something like that. For a second there, I thought he meant I was always chasing him. I didn't ask him what that meant, nor did I answer it directly.
"Yeah, well. I just finished taking my art exam. I think I blew it." I said, changing the subject.
"What's it about?" He asked.
"Color Theory?" I replied.
"Oh, my." He said. Then implied that "theory" is always hard.
He asked if it had essay or answering questions, or was it just multiple choice. I told him it was matching. Just terminology and all.
Then he asked me a question. I didn't quite understand. It was something like, "Does _____ match?"
I looked at him. Just shrugged.
He laughed again.
"Are you ready for tomorrow?" He asked.
"[scoff]Absolutely not." I joked.
He laughed.
"There's no way I'm passing that class." I added.
"What class? MY class?!" He was shocked.
"Yeah...." I sigh.
"No... I thought you were doing better than that." He said.
I paused, then said, "Making Cs right now."
"C's not bad," he said, "It's passing."
"Yeah, well.." I didn't know how to answer that at the moment, but then I soon added, "Don't like taking a C, though." I laughed.
"Yeah. Me, too." He said.
"My dad would probably kill me." I laughed again.
"Your dad would probably kill you, if what..?" He didn't understand what i meant.
"If i make a C." I said. "Both of my parents are college professors." I added.
"Oh, my." He was shocked again.
By this time, we've already reached the door to the BA building. We took the long way. He usually takes the short-cut through the woods. But not today. He walked with me and talked with me.
He opened the door for me. I walked through then open the second door myself. Because I didn't want to let him think that I walked this way with him on purpose, or I intended to talk with him, so I didn't wait on him after i got into the BA. I just walked straight to the stairs, then walked down slowly because my legs were shaking from the lack of sleep.
"What do they teach?" He asked. To continue the conversation.
I was happy.
"[scoff] English." I replied.
"Wow. Both of them?" He was in shock, again!
"Yeah." I said. Then told him about my mother just got her Ph. D in Literature and Language here this summer.
He asked if my parents correct my english all the time.
I shook my head and gave him a serious look to implied "Oh, yeah..All the time." But I didn't say a word.
He understood. "Yeah. My mother does that, too. Grammar and all."
"I hate Grammar." I laughed.
He laughed, too.
We've finally reached to his classroom.
"See you later." was the last sentence he said to me before he walked into the room.
"Bye." I smiled. But didn't turn around.
We both didn't look at each other when we said goodbye.
It was the nicest chat I've ever had with anyone on campus. I still can't believe he asked me all kinds of personal questions. I thought the "Good morning" part would just kill it. Never thought the conversation could extended all the way to our parents and all. I wasn't less in shock in him than he was in me.
My, oh, my. What am I going to do tomorrow? After the exam, everything will be over. There's no way I'm taking that course again. I'm too embarrassed to take it again. And I don't want to waste money on re-takes. Guess I better study hard. Oh, damn. I'm getting my paper back tomorrow. I bet I'd so laugh my ass of on myself about that paper I wrote.
Wish me luck tomorrow..

PS. Saw Eric crossing the stree to the parking lot around 7:20pm when i went back to century to do my laundry. I would've drive pass the street to say hi to him if i wasn't wearing some dumb T-shirt with a shit-face. But I did see his car. It looked like his brother's. It was that same old black truck. I'll probably see him tomorrow.

after the history exam. i went to our fake starbucks for some food, cuz i didn't really eat anything at all. when i walked out with latte and cookie, Sean was on his way to the caf (i suppose). we stood outside the starbucks (or outside the library) and talked for about an hour or so..
we went through everything..lol..books, movies, weather, classes..etc..XD
then mariana called. we went inside the library to see her brother. me and Sean stood in a group of mexicans, it was funny..lol..
that's pretty much my day..Sean let me wore his glove. He tried to hold my hands, but i didn't really let him..i asked him what exam he has tomorrow, then i let him go to the caf. i just went back home to grab my govt book for mariana to make copies.
slept for 2 hours till fucking juan salas called me and woke me up. motherfucking fuckhead loser.. i saw that private number calling, i knew it was gonna be him.. i didn't pick up his calls for a few times, so he quit calling for a while.. now he fucking calls again, i mean, WTF..! i answered it, like i was giving him another chance. but as soon as i found out that he knew i was preparing for my finals, but he called to bug me anyway, i fucking hung up on him....
motherfucker, i swear to fucking god... stupid dickhead..
gave me the damn fucking headache, i could barely work on my art when i got to the WTFA building around 8pm..
fucker....there's nothing in the world i would love more than to see him die.......

famous quote from Dawson's creek.
friday was the last lecture day. we went over the 2 exams we took this semester. Tiffanie asked me what classes am i taking next semester. my mind was on something else, or someone else, so it took me quite a while to answer her question. i couldn't really think of anything, so i just said Journalism, because that was the only word that popped up in my head at the moment. she told me in detail how to handle that class and all. very helpful. i hated her in the beginning of the semester. guess we ended up liking each other. at least she likes me in the end. strange. guess Baily knows the way with people. he's Nietzsche fan after all. philosophy's the greatest mistery in the world.
i felt the connection serval times during the lecture. because he was right next to the overhead, i could see his face clearly. and because i sat in the front role today..
to be able to go into his office, i left my paper in the art room.
so i went to him after class and asked him if he would be in his office this afternoon. he generously told me that he'd be there till about three.
i brought my paper over around 12:40. he was still on his computer. i knew i should've waited, but it was too cold outside, i wanted to go back home. so i went into his office and gave him the paper. and apologized about the paints i got on the paper. he laughed and said, "that's alright."
so i put the paper down on his desk and told him that "they're dry. I promise they won't get on anything else."
friday ended absolutely.

yesterday the temperture went down to 18F.. but i slept through the day, so when i finally woke up around 7pm, it wuz already pure white outside..
too bad my art class wuz 8am. cuz the campus didn't close till like 11..
basically means Baily's classes all got cancelled..
too bad i wuz planning on hanging out in the BA building this afternoon..*sigh*
anyways, glad today the campus wuz opened.. it wuz closed eariler, but opened back on at 10am..
i went to history class, got extra credit, cuz no one really showed up..
i went into the SS building in the exact same time with him. but today he went in from the other side.. guess he thought no one would show up in his class or something.. he wuz in the office the whole time i suppose..during his 10am class.. it wuz kinda weird..
he saw me walked in as i saw him [of course, we both went in from the doors across the hall.. like right infront of each other]..lol..
the cute dog that's been hanging out in the SS building passed me by, i jumped, but then soon smiled.. it's such a beautiful dog...
i don't know why he was staring at me..maybe he thought i was going in to see him..so while he was opening his office's door, he stood there and stared at me when i smiled at the dog but then soon realized that i wuz really late, so ran straight to the class room..
it wuz the same class room we had govt.. don't know what he would think..
he probably thought i got the time wrong..lol..it'd would be funny..
history class was boring..
govt class was, too.. we just talked over the camelot..what we did, what could've been improved, what were the differences between the book and hte real world..etc
i was playing with my scarf, he thought i raised my hand..lol.. it wuz hilarious..XD".. guess he must've been checking out on me all the time..lol
that was it for the day.....
days when he sits in front of me are over....
everything back to normal...
he's the professor...
he stands on the stage...
and i'm the student..
i sit behind the desk...
i listen while he talks....
i take notes...
and i suppose to participate, though i never did..
everything's going back to normal....
and it's near the end of the semester.....
what would i do... when it finally comes to an end.....?

i was so exciting about the class today..
today's the last day of simulation. it's so sad that today's the last day he will be sitting in front of me. but i'm also exciting about seeing him. ever since last class day, i knew there will be a greater chance for us to talk, which was true.
mariana walked in and stood by my desk, talking to me. soon, he walked in as well.. guess that cute dog that me and lucy saw on monday was here again. because when he came up to the desk in front of me, mariana asked if it was his dog. and he told us that it was smith's dog [he thinks]
he said "it's a beautiful dog."
i go, "yeah.."
he was like, "i almost let him in."
i laughed, "should have."
he goes, "but somebody pulled him away.. didn't wanna get into trouble i guess"
it was short. but it was great talk.. could've been better if it was about cats..lol..
it was awesome that he was looking at me when we were all talking, not mariana...XD

good new, i didn't get fired...XD!
6 to 1 to keep funding the museum.
4 to 3 to keep me and tiffanie on board..!
fucking rad..!
i love it..

during the re-election of the councilors, 4 runners went up there present their plateforms. it was funny as hell..
when archi talked about giving police the power to prevent crimes from happening instead of using them to solve problems and crime.. i laughed out loud and murmurred "minority report"
he turned and looked at me and laughed. bet he felt the same way as i did..-///////-
today's weather was weird.. i wuz sneezing the whole time..
he said "bless you" again...

of course those are not exactly his words.. he used some adjective i couldn't remember what were they..
but today when we were talking about the "obscene photographs" issue, he was really supportive. he stood on my side, and defensed for me. when everyone else was talking about firing me, he turned around and asked me privately "are you gonna let these [*****] people kick you out?"
today, somebody took the desk in front of me away, i wasn't able to save one for him. so when he got to the classroom and saw his spot was empty, he just stared at me. i looked up to him and generously asked "would you like to take this one?"
he smiled, "sure. whatever works."
"i can move back.." i said.
so i moved back a seat. he sat on my spot today.....
i'm glad i did that. this way i could be closer to tiffanie, because, our issue came up unexpectedly..
i didn't say a word during the discussing and all.. i felt him turning around looking at me several times. but i still refused to participate..lol..
victoria and lots of others were on my side as well. it was fun, during the discussing.. vic helped alot..! her defense was perfect..! i laughed so hard.. i even gave her a clap afterwards..XD and when it came down to me, she asked me "aren't you gonna fight for it?"
of course the lazy worm in me said, "well, i have my attorney.."
then everybody laughed. including him..
it was awesome.. he was just like a classmate.. a friend who sat in front of me.. talked to me quietly during class, everytime i tried to be funny, he'd laugh and be supportive.. i sneezed he would say "bless you"..
me and tiffanie gave a great show to everyone today. and my joke put to a perfect ending for the discussion. god, i will always remember he turned and looked at me softly.. the way he laughed was just like a child.. cute as hell...<3
i brought my Niestzche book, today.. he saw it.. he stared at it for a few seconds.. maybe that's why he turned and asked me if i was just gonna sit there not saying anything and let those people fire me..
today was awesome.....
after class, because victoria got arrested for opening the massage, she was all like "i need to find me a lawyer"
i go, "find tiffanie."
he laughed again.....
i like the way he looked at me... his eyes are so gentle........

Baily.
M:[sneezed]
B:bless you
M:thank you..

Sean.
M:can i have your hair?
S:no, it's mine! [mugged]

oh, my god! did i get paints on your?
sweet! [check the jacket] nah, you didn't..

Baily.
B:can i have this?
M:hum?
B:does anyone sit here?
M:no one sits there..

haven't really seen Eric in quit a while, so today, since Aubrey didn't come to Colour Theory class, i didn't have her following me everywhere, i decided to dress up a bit to find Eric...
it was freezing cold, i was wearing the long dress i bought in Taiwan, with that black/white stripe high-collar shirt inside, then with 鬼洗 jeans... also brooks' brother's hat... i was looking all girly and shit today, i'd say...lol..
as i waited downstairs of the BA building. i look over some flyers, and i almost got my ass busted when i peaked through the stairs to check if he's out already because he was standing right there talking to his professor...Orz... i walked towards him. he tried to scared me as usual. i waited on him while he was talking about his major changing stuff with the professor. i threw my scarf at him while they were talking so i could put my hat back on..lol.. then we stood outside the BA and talked for a while.. just random stuff.. a lot of things.. i asked him how was the concert, the halloween party thingy.. he said taht they never went.. he was wearing that white hat again today.. i missed that billabong hat..<3 then we talked about school again.. i asked what classes was he taking next semester. he said he didn't know because he changed his major and all.. i said that i quit art, too..lol.. then about transferring and all... i said that i had to go to art building to talk to my advisor, he said that he might have to go talk to his as well.. we were both exhusted.. i told him that i had a bad trip when i went back to taiwan weeks ago and i just didn't feel like doing anything anymore.. he said that he felt the same.. and he told me that he broke up with his g/f after dating for about 6 years.... i bet he was upset and depressed at the same time because when i asked him what happened, he was all pissed and didn't wanna talk about it. although he did tell me later on, about how she wanted more committment, like, marrying her or some shite.. but he told her that he couldn't marry her, he's still in college and all.. and he doesn't even know what he wants to do for his life... he was right.. but i wuz still in shock... i didn't know what to say at all... all i said was "wow" and "damn"...Orz..
i guess later on, we both figured we couldn't just stand outside the BA building forever, he mentioned that he's done for the day, and since i told him i had to go to the art building, so he asked me "do you wanna walk this way?" i don't know if he really wanted to walk me there or he was really heading to the journalism building.. because when i headed to the Ag building instead of art building, he stood at the cross road, looked all confused and asked me "oh, is he in there?" and pointed at the Ag building.. i said "he might, i don't know"
when we crossed the street, he warned me about the up coming truck.. when we got there, he saw his friend Jermiah(?), so i let them talk and went into the Ag building.. i didn't really wanna sign up for classes there, so i just grabbed a form then walked out.. heading towards the art building.. he was still there talking to his friend.. i got into the art building, signed up for a few hours to sit in the gallery.. when i got out, he was still there..! i was real happy.. i waited a bit, see if they'd finish their conversation in a bit.. but they didn't, so i just decided to walk towards them anyway....
i walked up to him, kicked his backpack. so his friend sensed that he should probably leave us alone..lol.. it was funny.. he was all like "yeah, i should get going..etc"....lmao..
it was me and him again.... he asked me "how'd it go?" i told him about how i told my advisor that i didn't wanna take any art classes next semester, but he told me to think about it..think about it hard...[yeah, i was lying, sue me..] he laughed.. then we both headed towards the journalism building.... we talked alot... really alot.... he asked me about my parents.. why they were so strict and all, what'd they do. i told him that they're all college professors.. he freaked..lol.. i don't know why we walked this way.. does he just suddenly decided to go talk to his councilor because i said i was gonna go talk to mine? or maybe he wanted to walk with me too? we talked about bunch of random stuff... his new programing job in dallas, radio answered his question on air, he was real excited.. how we worried about going blind and getting hunchback for sitting infront of the computer for too long..lmao.. i just love talking to him.....
when we got to the journalism building.. i let him go inside to talk to his councilor, he was surprised i think.. he asked if i was leaving.. i didn't realize untill later on that maybe he wanted me to go with him.. maybe he wanted my moral support.. maybe he wanted to hang out with me for a bit longer.. fuck.... i guess i blew it again...lol...
i shall try harder next tuesday before i go to the gallery opening......

Bus got me to Taipei around 6ish, at the train station. I actually got there before Sartre did..lol..Kama was at the book store, so me and my queen walked all the way down there to find him. But he wasn't exactly in there. He was sitting outside, enjoying his music..(-_-) We didn't take the bus or subway. We've already walked pretty far, so why not just walk all the way to the hotel. We met Luny outside the subway station, then to McDonald's for supper. Kama was starving..lol..Sunny was always late..No doubt of that. We waited about half an hour, he finally showed up. Yep, still nicely dressed.. Black is the safest colour. And it suits him well, too.
We checked in a four-bedroom, so me and Sartre were outside waiting when they were at the front desk checking in. Then we just walked in there like we lived there..lol.. First time, we even ran into the fucking wrong elevator..lmao..Luny said ladies could pick the bed first. Although I picked the cornor one, Sartre ended up sleeping on that bed, and I felt asleep on the bed next to her, which supposed to be hers, but everyone sat on it and fucked it up..lol.. Don't remember how I passed out or when. Should be around 5am-ish.. No idea how the fuck did we end up staying up so late. We picked up Kevsod around 9ish, if I remember correctly. Then the TV got all of us. Luny's PSP got Kevsod good..lol.. He couldn't stop playing it. I think I fell sleep watching him playing it.
Didn't wake up till about 8 or 9am.. When those crazy reded fuckers woke me up..! (=_=) I bet I woke up with an angry shit face looking out to the window, just listen to them screaming bullshit. And, of course, that was the time I realized that Kev was next to me all night..lol.. After we woke up, Luny awakened as well. Kev jumped into his bed, I just looked at the window for a few seconds, then walked back to my own bed all sleepy and shit. But soon, Luny jumped in as well..lol.. That was the moment I realized why everybody said it was freezing cold last night, but I didn't feel a thing at all.. 'cause I got people warm the damn bed for me all alone..XD"
Luny went out in the morning, said that he'd be back around noon. So the four of us, Sartre, me, Kev, and Kama went for lunch ourselves. Couldn't really taste a thing, but sure the pasta were awesome.. My brain didn't start working till I drank down that huge assed coffee. Guess that's what happens when you got addicted to caffeine :p It's so not fucking good.. And the worst part was that I bought 2 packs of ciggies right afterwards..lol..And NO! I didn't smoke them at all..! Trust me..!
Luny came back after me and Sartre checked in a new room, three-bedroom. Then we rushed to pick up our seat numbers (Is that what it was?). Thanks to Sunny, we didn't get number one..lol.. Oh, well, it didn't really matter, anyway.. Because Sartre kissed me, so nothing else mattered...XD.. There's only one thing better than orgasm - kissing a chick in front of the crowd <3 I think me and Sartre got number 3 and 4. The rest of them got 8 to 11 or something..
After buying a shit load of shirts, we rushed back to the room to put our makeup on. We had Sunny went out to buy our supper first, because he always made us wait for him..XD.. We watched some stupid-ass Hong Kong film while we waited, but it was funny as shit..!.. Makeup takes forever..! But i did enjoy having Sunny's face as my painting palette <3 Luny never liked makeup. But we, somehow, got him to put some eyeline and a tear on..lol.. That was pure miracle.. I was out of my pills. And I knew the concert would got me high, so I didn't dare to take any before the concert. So I was real tired the whole time. Finishing everybody's makeup hit my limitaion. I was the only one who didn't put anything on my face..lol..
Seeing Tilo Wolff in person for the first time.. that feeling was beyond comprehension.. The love of my life stood right in front of me. I could always reach for him if I wanted to, but I just couldn't dare. He stood on the stage singing his song with his tempting voice. And I just suddenly forgot how to breathe.. When the third song began, Lezte Ausfahrt: Leben, my tear just fell down helplessly. I was grabbing Luny and Kev's hands the whole time. It was a dream come true. A night of miracle. I don't remember most part of it, but i remembered the feeling of it. I remembered I kissed Sartre while we were lying in front of the stage..XD.. I remembered Sunny called me a slut for kissing a chick..XD.. And, of course, I kissed a shit load of people that night, I just couldn't help it..lol.. Concert always got me high.. I am, indeed, without a doubt, educated in a shithole called United States of America.
Kev had to leave tonight. All of us, except Sunny, walked him to the train station so we could protect him from those red fuckers..lol.. We didn't catch the early train, so we ended up eating another supper at McDonald's. Goodbye was always the hardest part. Especially my hands won't fucking stop shaking because I didn't take my damn pills. I bet I looked all pissed off and angry. I was, in a way, since Mr. Lin called me for some stupid bullshit I never wanted to repeat them, not in this lifetime..! Anyways, if I didn't act excited or sad or any kind of emotion, or didn't have the expression I should have on my face, sorry, people..XD..
We walked Luny to buy his bus ticket, then back to hotel. It was just about time Sunny came back with his boyfriend's job application form or something. Dear Sunny doesn't even know what "telephone" means..lmao.. That was the cutest thing I've ever seen.. When time came for Luny to leave, we just finished translating that form into chinese. So Sunny walked him out. That was pretty much the end of our Lacrimosa journey. My useless heart wouldn't allow me to fucking stay awake, so I pretty much passed out right afterwards. But I remembered Kama took a shower before he went to bed. I think Sartre passed out about the same time I did. Next morning, Sartre's alarm was Lacrimosa's music. So it was a great beginning. A great beginning for back into the reality.. "Everything that has a beginning has an end." When the next chapter begins, I hope I will be prepared.
Steph called while I was on the train. Good thing that she called. She said she meant to call the night before, but she was in Chicago. I told her it was alright. I was way too fucking high, anyway..XD.. I guess everybody walks in circles. Things always end up going back to her. We talked till my mobile battery died..lol..

Bus got me to Taipei around 6ish, at the train station. I actually got there before Sartre did..lol..Kama was at the book store, so me and my queen walked all the way down there to find him. But he wasn't exactly in there. He was sitting outside, enjoying his music..(-_-) We didn't take the bus or subway. We've already walked pretty far, so why not just walk all the way to the hotel. We met Luny outside the subway station, then to McDonald's for supper. Kama was starving..lol..Sunny was always late..No doubt of that. We waited about half an hour, he finally showed up. Yep, still nicely dressed.. Black is the safest colour. And it suits him well, too.
We checked in a four-bedroom, so me and Sartre were outside waiting when they were at the front desk checking in. Then we just walked in there like we lived there..lol.. First time, we even ran into the fucking wrong elevator..lmao..Luny said ladies could pick the bed first. Although I picked the cornor one, Sartre ended up sleeping on that bed, and I felt asleep on the bed next to her, which supposed to be hers, but everyone sat on it and fucked it up..lol.. Don't remember how I passed out or when. Should be around 5am-ish.. No idea how the fuck did we end up staying up so late. We picked up Kevsod around 9ish, if I remember correctly. Then the TV got all of us. Luny's PSP got Kevsod good..lol.. He couldn't stop playing it. I think I fell sleep watching him playing it.
Didn't wake up till about 8 or 9am.. When those crazy reded fuckers woke me up..! (=_=) I bet I woke up with an angry shit face looking out to the window, just listen to them screaming bullshit. And, of course, that was the time I realized that Kev was next to me all night..lol.. After we woke up, Luny awakened as well. Kev jumped into his bed, I just looked at the window for a few seconds, then walked back to my own bed all sleepy and shit. But soon, Luny jumped in as well..lol.. That was the moment I realized why everybody said it was freezing cold last night, but I didn't feel a thing at all.. 'cause I got people warm the damn bed for me all alone..XD"
Luny went out in the morning, said that he'd be back around noon. So the four of us, Sartre, me, Kev, and Kama went for lunch ourselves. Couldn't really taste a thing, but sure the pasta were awesome.. My brain didn't start working till I drank down that huge assed coffee. Guess that's what happens when you got addicted to caffeine :p It's so not fucking good.. And the worst part was that I bought 2 packs of ciggies right afterwards..lol..And NO! I didn't smoke them at all..! Trust me..!
Luny came back after me and Sartre checked in a new room, three-bedroom. Then we rushed to pick up our seat numbers (Is that what it was?). Thanks to Sunny, we didn't get number one..lol.. Oh, well, it didn't really matter, anyway.. Because Sartre kissed me, so nothing else mattered...XD.. There's only one thing better than orgasm - kissing a chick in front of the crowd <3 I think me and Sartre got number 3 and 4. The rest of them got 8 to 11 or something..
After buying a shit load of shirts, we rushed back to the room to put our makeup on. We had Sunny went out to buy our supper first, because he always made us wait for him..XD.. We watched some stupid-ass Hong Kong film while we waited, but it was funny as shit..!.. Makeup takes forever..! But i did enjoy having Sunny's face as my painting palette <3 Luny never liked makeup. But we, somehow, got him to put some eyeline and a tear on..lol.. That was pure miracle.. I was out of my pills. And I knew the concert would got me high, so I didn't dare to take any before the concert. So I was real tired the whole time. Finishing everybody's makeup hit my limitaion. I was the only one who didn't put anything on my face..lol..
Seeing Tilo Wolff in person for the first time.. that feeling was beyond comprehension.. The love of my life stood right in front of me. I could always reach for him if I wanted to, but I just couldn't dare. He stood on the stage singing his song with his tempting voice. And I just suddenly forgot how to breathe.. When the third song began, Lezte Ausfahrt: Leben, my tear just fell down helplessly. I was grabbing Luny and Kev's hands the whole time. It was a dream come true. A night of miracle. I don't remember most part of it, but i remembered the feeling of it. I remembered I kissed Sartre while we were lying in front of the stage..XD.. I remembered Sunny called me a slut for kissing a chick..XD.. And, of course, I kissed a shit load of people that night, I just couldn't help it..lol.. Concert always got me high.. I am, indeed, without a doubt, educated in a shithole called United States of America.
Kev had to leave tonight. All of us, except Sunny, walked him to the train station so we could protect him from those red fuckers..lol.. We didn't catch the early train, so we ended up eating another supper at McDonald's. Goodbye was always the hardest part. Especially my hands won't fucking stop shaking because I didn't take my damn pills. I bet I looked all pissed off and angry. I was, in a way, since Mr. Lin called me for some stupid bullshit I never wanted to repeat them, not in this lifetime..! Anyways, if I didn't act excited or sad or any kind of emotion, or didn't have the expression I should have on my face, sorry, people..XD..
We walked Luny to buy his bus ticket, then back to hotel. It was just about time Sunny came back with his boyfriend's job application form or something. Dear Sunny doesn't even know what "telephone" means..lmao.. That was the cutest thing I've ever seen.. When time came for Luny to leave, we just finished translating that form into chinese. So Sunny walked him out. That was pretty much the end of our Lacrimosa journey. My useless heart wouldn't allow me to fucking stay awake, so I pretty much passed out right afterwards. But I remembered Kama took a shower before he went to bed. I think Sartre passed out about the same time I did. Next morning, Sartre's alarm was Lacrimosa's music. So it was a great beginning. A great beginning for back into the reality.. "Everything that has a beginning has an end." When the next chapter begins, I hope I will be prepared.
Steph called while I was on the train. Good thing that she called. She said she meant to call the night before, but she was in Chicago. I told her it was alright. I was way too fucking high, anyway..XD.. I guess everybody walks in circles. Things always end up going back to her. We talked till my mobile battery died..lol..

tired as shit..again..!
Rosas went home around 7am [she stayed over night last night to work on history shit with me]. i took a shower, then aubrey came, we went to class. watched an awesome video about colors in color theory class..
then aubs helped me moved a sfew boxes to Mr. Lo's place. she actually liked taht place..lol.. she was even considering moving next door..lol..
after i dropped her off at the caf, i went to the SS building, hoping to see Eric there if he took that class i expected.. only i didn't see him, saw that long hair guy instead..Orz..i guess i felt equally happy as if i saw Eric. this time, although he was sitting outside SS with his friends, andi was just walking towards it in the crowd, he saw me and smiled at me anyway.. no pretending not seeing each other or anything. he even waved at me with a smile. God, that was so sweet and surprising.. i bet his friends were all like "who the fuck is she?" LOL.. i was real happy..even the class i was gonna check for eric had already left, i was still happy.. i gave him back a big smile and waved at him back.. he was wearing those sunglasses again...<3 and he had his hair down.. it was looking real pretty in the wind under the sun.. he looked awesome today.. i hope he'd have his hair down again tomorrow as well....
1:30pm, i went ot BA, to chekc on another class taht Eric might possibly be in.. which he was..!!
when i was just about to give up and leave.. He suddenly walked out of the room...!!! it wasn't the familiar white hat i used to know.. it was a black one.. but i could still tell without even thinking...the familiar body shape and the way he walks... it was him........
i totally freaked! i totally fucking freaked..! i just turned and walked off..
but then i took a deep breath.. walked back on that hallway again.. because i had to see him... it's been too long.. and ever since Dylan told me about him, his band, his g/f..well, ex-g/f now.. i just had to see him... i walked towards him, trying to fix my hair.. i let him see me first..... because i had my head down.. i was too shy....
he raised his left hand to say hi.. i smiled and raised my left hand as well..until he put his hand down and raised both of his arm and gave me a full hug..... i hugged him tight... i hugged him tightly as i've never huggd anyone so tight before.. this time, i had to feel and memorize his scent and body shape.. i lean my head against his chest..i felt his arms around me. god, i missed that feeling.... he's Eric.. there's something about him.. i can't break it down in words...i just like the way he is.. i wish i could've memorized his smell forever.. today's the best day i've ever had in months..

oh, fuck.. i'm fucking tires as shit...
i could barely move..
i got about 2 hours of sleep in the afternoon, aubrey came over around 8pm, i let her sleep for an hour, then we started working on our colour theory project..Orz
and, we called Matt again...LOL
we all fell asleep around 4:30am, then he went home.. thx, matty, you brought us food again..you're the best...<3
but me and aubrey passed out again and didn't wake up till 6:30am when my alarm rang...projects unfinished..=口=
i was rushing..so was she.. we were both screwed...LOL..
although she called hers finished... mine? obvously not......Orz

don't make it sound like i've done nothing at all..
don't just sit around and make me feel guilty and shit,
jesus fucking christ..
why the fuck did i do? i don't need this shit?!
i don't have to fucking suffer from all these crap again..!