瑞玢的左眼

i didn't feel well all day long. my math professor fell off of his roof last week.
see! i knew last week wuz cursed! but he sent up a sub so we can still finish up our semester..and then today we left early..
this time when i went back, he wuz late..so i didn't see him.
then when i wuz going to my art class. aubs wuz with me and beside we were way early. saw him but didn't talk to him.
during art class.. it wuz from 2 to 5pm.. laine's surgery suppose to start at 2pm..
i couldn't go see him, and it almost killed me! i wuz sitting in the art room, supposed to draw some shit from the arrangements, but i ended drawing a shit load of senseless stuff...Orz
right afterwards, Ben called me right away. he's pretty much the only one who can memorize my schedule except me and aubs LOL (we memorized each other's schedule) he told me that laine's stomach completely crashed..just fucked up so bad and shit.. my tears almost fell off. but aubs wuz here so i told them that i would be there in few hours but i still couldn't take him outta my mind..
so when ben called me the second times, i decided that i hav to go....right away!
after i dropped off aubs at her dorm, i went on 80miles/hour all the way to Greenville's hospital. sitting in the waiting room with all of his friends. Dylan won't show up cuz he wuz busy.. he's the only one laine asked to see before he went in to the OR! and he didn't even wanna come.... that kinda pissed me off alittle. i thought they are kool with each other now, goddammit

after few hours of waiting..he finally got outta the OR around 8pm. he looked horrible. and he didn't wanna see anybody. so we just left.
i left before all of them left cuz i got a paper to write. but james said that he wants to come over. cuz when i wuz up at the hospital waiting, he called me and told me that pam (aubs's mom) called him and told him that aubs wuz crying at her dorm because of Ben's stuff and she felt betrayed by james and shit. i wuz depressed already cuz the hospital impact. and now another situation dropped down on top of it. i just fucking wanted to die at that moment right there....Orz
with all those dear friends, i did my best to keep our friendships, and they luv me so much that makes me not want to leave them. one starts fighting with another, while me and others are right in the middle of it. what kinda selfish shit is that? i know love comes from different angles, and i know the love is still out there. but why do we always end up hurting each other?!
after james came over and then ben showed up. three of us sort of squared things out alittle about aubrey. i really hope is all kool now. um gonna go check on her tomorrow as soon as i get off of the english class.
me, james, ben, and meg had a lot of fun hanging around.. we joked around, fucked around, then went to wash james's car..lol it wuz fucking hilarious cuz james didn't know how to work the auto-wash machine LMAO
dylan called while we were in the car wash thingy..he waited outside my apartment for a little till we got back.
for no reason.. he missed me alot lately..maybe its because we haven't really talked to each other for so long.. i dun even know are we still kool with each other after that laine thingy.... but today when he came in he just gave me a long, tight hug..... like the one we used to hav long long time ago..
he wouldn't let go of me all night long.. all of us were just chilling and shit. and i sat on his lap the whole time. i missed the way he puts his arms around my waist. they were icy cold hands, but they were the hands i know so well.
and didn't i just left outta Eric for him lol
dear god..
yeah..Ben called Eric while we were still at the hospital. Meg talked to him first cuz i wuz too shy to answer it. but he didn't seem to recognize meg, so meg handed it over to me. as i told him that um marian, the girl walks around with the camera, he knew and then he laughed. i told him about laine's situation and stuff. he asked me to call him back when he gets outta the OR.
when i got back to commerce, i called him. and that wuz the second time i spoke to him thru the phone. he sounded tired, so i let him go.
they were all happened right before james showed up..
last month..November first, we started talking. i remember it clearly. if i would be able to meet Christopher Walken some day, it would be a fucking de ja vu right there LOL
it wuz a crazy day..
but ended up well during night time......